Earwig’s Delight: Key-Books

As I stood on the train platform this morning, shivering in the upstate New York cold, I halted my teeth chattering just long enough to overhear a conversation that kept me smirking all the way to Manhattan. The players are two men in their late 30s, shootin’ the shite in between coughing up masses of phlegm and spitting on the tracks (I know, I know…I’m sorry). For clarity, I will call them “Beard Boy” (man with salt-flecked, red bushy beard) and “Wool Hat” (man with army-print ear flapped hunter’s hat).

Beard Boy: “Oh man, I need to get me one of those e-book thingers.”

Wool Hat: “e-book?” (face scrunched up in annoyance/disbelief).

Beard Boy: (Here I assume he provided a definition of an e-book [thinger], but unfortunately, a passerby chose this moment to cough in my face, and thus the keen insight was forever lost).

Wool Hat: “Oh like one of those ‘Kinders’? Yeah, but you can only read books with them. They need to make it so it has everything a computer does.”

Beard Boy: “Would it have as much memory though?”

Wool Hat: “Dunno.”

Beard Boy: “Cause I need memory.”

Wool Hat: “Do ya?”

Beard Boy: “Ah, yeah. Gotta have memory. I don’t have enough of my own memory. Heck, I can’t even find my keys!”

Wool Hat: “Where’s My Keys!” (said in deep, exaggerated voice, while hopping from foot to foot, palms facing upwards, giving his rendition of Beard Boy looking for his keys).

Beard Boy: “That’s what that e-book should do, find your keys!”

Wool Hat: “Yeeeaaaaaah!” (proverbial lightbulb going off).

Beard Boy: “That’s what would sell.”

Wool Hat: “Bzzzzzzz, bzzzzzzzz. You’re keys are here!” (can only assume this is the ‘Kinder’s’ way of getting its owner’s attention).


Unfortunately, just as this stimulating conversation was getting good, the train rolled in and we climbed into different cars. I really think they were on to something.